RIP❤️RBG

I will never forget where I was when Ruth Bader-Ginsburg aka the Notorious RBG died.

I was lacing up my spikes, preparing to walk to the top of the runway to work on full approach pop-ups.

My phone buzzed.

Usually, outside of locating a playlist I prefer phone-free training sessions. Opting to put my phone on airplane mode and to use it as the camera for real-time analysis without the distraction of missed call alerts, and push notifications.

But not today.

I checked my phone on the second alert.

It was a text, a link to an article: RBG dead at 87.

My heart sank.

I yelled an F bomb so loud and in such a distraught tone both Chuck and Iggy stopped what they were doing to see about me.

“RBG is dead” I said.

“We’re screwed” a disembodied voice added to the chorus of grief rising to crescendo.

We all sat silent.

This practice didn’t seem important anymore. America had already seemingly been reverting back to its roots and parts of her face have become unrecognizable to me, and it seems with the giant hole that RBG leaves not just on the court but in this society we could expect that more reroutes were to come.

Eventually, I said to myself that of all the things RBG stood for, it was for this- for women to get out there and do whatever it is they wanted to do. I remembered watching her do a workout with her trainer on a PBS special. I picked myself off the ground and took one small step for myself, one giant leap for womankind.

I finished what was probably our most somber training session, heart and legs heavy. Grief washing over us in waves. I wanted to sit and revel in the beauty of a life well lived, a fight well fought, and yet…

Her legacy was overshadowed by talk of her replacement.

This is our chance! I imagine the ultra conservative faction of America’s citizenry were exclaiming upon hearing the news.

And suddenly, what was incomprehensible to do when Merrick Garland was nominated by Obama, is totally acceptable to do today.

All of those loud voices shouting “let the people decide in an election year!” Are no longer of that opinion, and have either not weighed in, or are now shouting about fairness.

Why? Because it suits them.

I don’t want to be a politician.

I want to be RBG.

I don’t want to be inconsistent, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I don’t want to cherry-pick what to be up in arms about based on my personal interests, not when I’m meant to be representing ALL OF OUR INTERESTS.

All means all. 

It means fighting for EVERY event on the track and in the field to remain.

It means fighting for fairness for EVERY athlete even if our personal position is to sacrifice the one for the many. 

It means fighting for the right to not have the definition of what it means to be female decided by men in poorly tailored suits behind closed doors in a room as stuffy as they are.

It means, even as feeling like the entirety of women’s sport is up for grabs, we cannot cosign discriminatory science, and hormone tampering.

It means acknowledging athletes and their struggle to earn a living this season, to train, to travel, even as a few of us may have managed to put together a decent competitive season.

We said that this time was a great pause for World Athletics as they’d have the space to reset some of their ill-advised policies and rule changes. 

We had the time to establish our credibility to make World Athletics understand that on EVERY decision, EVERY step of the way we would hold them accountable.

But we haven’t. Not yet.

So I’m going to double down, so that I can continue to advocate for all of us in all the remaining roles that I have taken on in a way that I can be proud of.

In a way that RBG would be proud of.

I’m reminded of the poem “First They Came” by Martin Niemöller. And that’s not who I want to be.

I want to be RBG.