Follow the Leader

What’s the opposite of leadership?

This was a question asked from the speakers’ stage during the Live 2 Lead Simulcast hosted by Cal Berkeley.

And unsurprisingly, most of us in the room said, “a follower” or some version of that.

But we were wrong.

The speaker on the stage at the time was Marcus Buckingham he was the vice president of Gallup (you know, the poll people- although that wasn’t his area of expertise) and his ex-wife is one of the alleged college scammers, offering a proctor $50,000 to take the ACT for her son so that he could get into USC.

The irony there is that she, prior to that lapse in judgement had positioned herself as a parenting-guru whose mantra was “confident parents make confident kids”

Unfortunately, that didn’t extend to her confidence in her kid’s ability to earn a solid enough test score to get into school but that’s kind of beside the point…

Well no, not really.

Marcus talked about this from the stage. But not before he told us the answer to the question.

What’s the opposite of leadership?

Pessimism.

Think about that.

Those words- that answer settled like a cloud of dust on the room. My eyes drifted towards the beams in the ceiling as I ruminated on this answer.

I arrived to the conclusion that it is absolutely true. Because leaders are essentially driven by hope.

The hope that a goal can be reached.

a dream can be realized.

that potential can be actualized.

A leader is a physical manifestation of optimism.

And that’s the quality or characteristic that attracts followers, it’s the glue that holds the team together, it’s what makes a person magnetic, a leader so effective.

This realization slapped me in the face, because I’ve been pretty pessimistic. Perhaps not publicly, but definitely internally.

And I am-was convinced that I had good reason too. A really good excuse actually.

I mean damn, I make all these moves to set myself up for freedom and happiness- only for my body to fall apart in the most spectacular of ways.

If it wasn’t happening to me, I’d watch this unfold with intrigue and pity.

But it is happening to me, and optimism feels more like a delusion and less like a necessary quality for high performance.

Like building a house on a foundation of loosely packed sand.

Just waiting to crumble.

So I’ll be honest and tell you that this has really been my struggle. Wondering at what point optimism is actually delusion in a better dress.

But another nugget of wisdom that came from Wednesday’s seminar was this: an excuse is just a lie wrapped in reason.

Damn.

Rachel Hollis was another speaker at Live 2 Lead Conference. I’d heard her speak before in person at another conference I went to in San Diego in October.

And a lot of what she said was my second time hearing it, and that’s fine. The truth doesn’t have to change-it gets reiterated.

I heard something differently that day when she said: you can’t lead anyone if you can’t lead yourself.

And since the opposite of leadership is pessimism it stands to reason that leadership equals optimism.

Therefore, self-leadership is being optimistic about the life you’re living, the goals you’re out achieving, the purpose that drives you.

And when optimism feels like delusion

a leader has the audacity to hope.

Hopeful isn’t a state I have access to readily. Not anymore. But I’m starting to understand that everyday that I show up, that I get to the track despite the reality of my body is actually an act of defiance.

Against the part of myself that equates the type of hope and optimism leaders need to have and demonstrate with delusion.

Because if I didn’t have hope, be it buried six feet deep in the soil of my bruised heart I’d stay in bed. I’d indulge myself in depression, and engage my excuses.

And yet…I do.

I have the audacity to try.

So I guess, what I’m trying and hopefully succeeding to say is this: it’s easy to be hard on yourself for the things that haven’t gone- or are aren’t going to plan. It’s incredibly easy to be down on yourself.

But if you’re still here, still waking up and going to work, or going to the gym, or saving a dollar here and there, dreaming…

that’s you.

That’s you having the audacity to hope.

That’s you being optimistic.

And that’s all you need to lead yourself to where you want to go.

The opposite of leadership is not following. It’s pessimism.

So pick yourself up, find the audacity to hope, and help lead us home.

We need you.